Sunday, December 18, 2011

Sunday Confessions: My Boys

This post is a tiny bit daring for me as I teeter back and forth with my blog as to what's too much to put out there and how vulnerable or opinionated do I really want to sound. I admit I love these link-ups, it gives me an excuse to write and post about different things other than the same old, same old.

So here it goes my first Sunday Confessional blog post.

The last 8-9 months I've actually enjoyed (no I really have) the look on peoples faces, mostly strangers when they see my growing belly and then find out we have 3 little boys... sometimes it's "wow, another kid", "wow, four of them", "your done, right?" and then it's, "are you hoping for pink?", "oh I bet you'd love a girl", "I bet it's a girl this time around" all of these just make me laugh! Maybe it's because it's towards the end of my pregnancy and I've heard it all by now. The truth is, maybe I'd want a different gender or maybe not? I want a healthy baby first and for most! But the reality is, we really just wanted a big family and... Mission Accomplished :) Now Pink or Blue this baby was planned and created with lot's of love and will be the perfect fit to our family no matter what the gender is.

And here's the real reason I wrote this today. Yesterday we went to see Santa and the woman in front of us had 4 little kids with her, 2 boys, 2 girls and all about 2 years apart. We ended up chatting and she confessed to me that she wanted 4 boys (no lie!! really!) She said she was rather devastated (her exact words) when her 2nd child was a girl. I was very surprised at this, never would I think a mom would say this. I assumed all moms of boys wouldn't mind a girl in the mix?! I assumed wrong. I felt this sense of comfort talking to her, call it fate or whatever but that conversation with her happened for a reason, I needed that, I needed her to confess that to me. In 3-4 weeks I just might be living this random woman's dream of 4 boys? I feel more ready than ever to have this baby! In the last 2 years, all the time we've contemplated adding on to our family,  I've thought of all the scenarios... a boy or a girl. Will this be our last baby? maybe? probably. If we have four boys, could I see us adopting a girl someday, maybe? If I am an all boy mom will we have lot's of granddaughters, possibly? If this is a girl how would I feel about being a girl mom? I have a soft spot for boys and they can throw a fit and I don't feel the same as when I see a little girl throwing the same tantrum. Weird, I know.

And my last confession, my least favorite thing to hear someone say when they are pregnant or trying to become pregnant for the second time is this:

"I already have my boy and I want a girl now, OR I already have my girl and I just want a boy this time"

What happened to the cliche "just a healthy baby would be great" I really like that one and it would never rub anyone the wrong way. And what about those who have had to endure hurdles of testing, medications and interventions to become pregnant, and then some do and some don't become parents. I bet those comments would be slightly agitating, just like it might be to someone parenting all one gender. Everyone is of course entitled to be picky and to their own opinion. Thank goodness for that. I just chose to share mine today and maybe my Sunday Confession's might be too open book-like, but today I decided that I don't really mind if they are :)

walking my little basketball team of boys to go see santa yesterday

"Before you were conceived I wanted you, Before you were born I loved you, Before you were here an hour I would die for you, This is the miracle of love" 
-Maureen Hawkins

Linking up with AdelynSTONE


Sandra Kohlmann said...

This is wonderful. When I was pregnant with my twins, people used to tell me it would be great if I had a boy and a girl, then I'd be done. Nevermind the fact that my daughters are identical, which means that boy/girl wasn't an option. People say the dumbest and rudest things to pregnant women. Somehow, being pregnant is like wearing a sign that says, "please, I want to hear all your opinions and answer all your nosy, personal questions." Ack! Your family is lovely, whether you ever have a girl, or not.

The Starr Family said...

Proud of you. I love this post and I really love the truth in it! We're all designed for different paths, so why would be all be guaranteed the perfect concoction of one boy/one girl. This being said from the mother of one boy/one girl... you know what's really irritating, is when someone asks me... are you glad you got one of each and now you can be done?

Thanks for this post!

The Starr Family said...

I meant to put perfection concoction in quotation marks... :)

SaigeWisdom said...

the fact that you're due in January and don't look at all pregnant in the photo of your backside makes me uber jealous. My first baby was a January baby and I assure you could tell from ALL angles. motherhood obviously agrees with you.

Our Little Bubble said...

thanks Kate!! people are so funny aren't they! sometimes irritating, sometimes comical :) they'll surprise you ever time.

Sandra- my once basketball belly has turned into a giant medicine ball... sticking out large and in charge from the front :) trust me.

Lesley @ the floyd boys said...

I loved this. My least favorite comment when I hear someone has a boy AND a girl is that "it's perfect". As if two or ten of the same gender is not. Seeing pictures of your sweet boys makes me want a few more of my own.

Sean Marie said...

Great post! I think it's offensive that people ask if you want/are hoping for a girl. You are so close to meeting your new little addition! I'm so excited for you!

JenB said...

Way to go Girl! Well said.
I'm already getting it. Having two boys has been a dream come true. If my next is a Girl Great and if a Boy Great. We love Him/Her, more and more everyday, either way. I think others want a girl more then I do sometimes.

Speak your Mind, I love to hear it.

Love you

Jen said...

I would love to have a girl, and hubs wants a boy. This is our last baby as far as I know, and we aren't finding out this time around since there are "so few surprises in life" like a baby.

That being said, I just want a healthy baby. Having a special needs child already, I know how vitally important "healthy" is.

No matter what the outcome around June 16th, boy or girl... Healthy or not... I will adore this child that was given to me as a gift. And that is what they all are, despite our wishes and dreams and plans. Gifts.

Ashley said...

What a great, honest post! I totally agree...hopefully, God willing, we will be pregnant with #4 by the end of this year and I am already gearing up for the comments people will make. I would be totally fine (and am secretly hoping for) boy #4, but I think any baby is a blessing, no matter the gender! So glad to hear I'm not the only one who has these thoughts!

jessicaclarke said...

Love this post as a fellow mom to 3 boys I can relate. My husband and I are pretty sure we'd like at least one more and have talked about what if it was a boy or a girl. I know many moms of four boys and they love it even if they did hope for some pink:) Can't wait to hear the news. Glad I found your blog

anderson said...